Welcome Home New Black Jeggings, Meet the Puppies.


I have been seeing my boyfriend long enough to no longer need to primp EVERY SINGLE TIME we leave the house. We live together for goodness sakes. The man has seen me as stripped of pretty as I can possibly get.

That being said, I am writing here, so there is so obviously a catch.

A very understandable measure of relationships that need not use dates and time:

Long enough to go sans shower, not long enough to stop trying to impress his friends.

Every couple of months it’s time to go visit “home,” Bedford, PA. The epitome of small town America (in a stepford housewife kind of way). With graduating classes of under 150, everyone knows everyone.  They are all friends. Everything and everyone is quaint.

So very opposite of me! Sarcastic and slightly rough around the edges.

Everyone knows everyone and they are all friends. Everything and everyone is quaint.

As the weeks pass and we get closer to the visit I begin to nearly panic (Inside my head of course- I will never admit this to my lovey, cool, calm, collected, confident boyfriend).    The typical single girl questions start streaming :

What will I wear?  How will I get my hair perfect in a bathroom that is not mine?  WHAT IF I MEET SOMEONE THAT MATTERS and I don’t look PERFECT?

 Who might matter that much?  I have met his parents, his siblings, and his extended family on both sides.   I spent a week at the beach with aunts, uncles, and cousins.

 Any woman knows this without me saying it, but I will swallow my foolish single girl pride and admit it.

(Deep Breath) The looming possibility of running into ex girlfriends or ex flings has me in such a tizzy.

 This time – so much so that I got a manicure, a blow out, and bought several new outfits – including shoes, a coat, and accessories.

 IS THIS FOR REAL!?  I am 28 years old.  My friends are married.  I LIVE WITH MY BOYFRIEND.  How on earth can I still feel the terror of the EX.  What if she is prettier?  What if she is better dressed?  Worse . . . what if she is nice?  (oh God- or funny).   My heart is racing thinking about it.


Remember when Carrie can’t stop dreaming of Mr. Big’s Ex Wife!

Did I mention I have a nice new huge mega zit on my chin?  Obviously.

 $40 bucks later my hair: done by a Pittsburgh native. Not more voluminous.  Not sleek.  Not sexy.  And not something I couldn’t have done myself.  (By the way, Michael said, “Did you do something to your hair? It looks … different?”  No compliment to follow).

 $22 bucks later my nails are grey or green?  I don’t even know.  The lighting in the nail salon was so dim I found myself trying to get the silent nail tech to like me, or even look at me.

 After buying several new outfits (they are wonderful, and will be worn all fall), we did not go out, we did not run into any new people, and I sat in a dog friendly living room most of the time spent at “home.”  My new black jeggings met no one new, just Bailey, Copper, and Ella.


Jeggings why don’t you go play dress up with the dogs, you can put all their fur all over you and pretend you are an animal as well!

Sigh.   Why does this happen to me?  Every time!  What is the big deal?  “Ex’s are ex’s for a reason,” right?

“He’s with you now,” isn’t he?

That’s what anyone would say to me and what I would say tell others.

 Amazing the confidence I find in glossy nails, bouncy hair, and fitted/accessorized clothing.  Do you know what Mike was wearing?  Old jeans, older converse, and a north face.

Okay, time to come back to reality. Stating that a girl should say “positive affirmations” to herself in times like theses sounds entirely too honest. Instead , when I am feeling insecure, I shall see to the all knowing, woman’s bible: Pinterest.

 When the fear of the EX (girlfriend, coworker, boss, boyfriend, friend) comes to creeping up on you, remember these very true thoughts:





 Here’s to saving $100 dollars next visit !


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